that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
