Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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