I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
