Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
is wine microwaveable?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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