you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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