Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
