he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
PANTIES FOUND
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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