made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
