dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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