We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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