Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
