I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Where is the hickey?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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