Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
His hands were made for my vagina.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
