he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I sprained my soul last night
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
