Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
