i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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