i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
