Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize