Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
