she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
All I want is dick and wine.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
