Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just want nice things and good sex
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize