It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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