Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
