oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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