I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And then my night got REAL pukey
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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