Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
