just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
