i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
