Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She's the barista slut.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
