Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize