Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
