He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
