he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize