I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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