i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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