I heard we made out
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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