Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
