hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When are your genitals available?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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