their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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