One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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