He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
