It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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