He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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