and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
