If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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