im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
