i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
