i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
