It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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