She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
