I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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