this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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