should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
