Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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