She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
