I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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