I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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