I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
