Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
did i just pee glitter
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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