I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
